Natuke nalja vol 20Kevad. Talveunest ärkavad karupojad ja tunnevad, et kube kärab tugevalt
ning on vaja kedagi panna. Käivad siis metsa vahel ringi ning vaatavad
siia-sinna, aga kõik teised loomad veel magavad ning jänest kinni ei
püüa, seega peavad pettunult oma koopasse tagasi pugema.
Kihu on aga nii suur peal, et otsustavad teineteist panna - kõik ju
magavad ning keegi ei saa teada. Keset kõige magusamat pano aga käib
kopra nägu viuh! koopaukse pealt läbi. Karupojad haistavad halba, sest
kobras raisk on suur lobamokk ning otsustavad ta enne maha lüüa, kui ta
teistele seda häbiväärset lugu rääkida jõuab. Panevad siis kihutades
koprale järgi. Kobras kihutab tuhatnelja ning jõuab napilt enne
karupoegi jõeni, kus tal jää sees auk on tehtud. Hüppab sealt viimase
pingutusega sisse, aga juba on karupoja käpp vees ning haarab sealt
kopra järgi. Suur on aga karupoja üllatus, kui näeb, et käpa vahel vahib
hoopis tursk otsa! Tursk punnitab silmi ja küsib siis karupoja käest:
"Noh pedepojad! Tulite käsi pesema või?"
The Corporate Fitness Program along with the renown scientific journal, SPY magazine - Is pleased to present the health & scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT, there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. While most of these are insects and germs, this doesn't COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa and Christmas is a Western/Christian holiday, someone else has to handle those who don't celebrate Christmas. This reduces the workload to the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
homes Santa needs to visit (Baby! That's job stress!) One presumes there's at least one good child in each home.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth. Assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical), this works out to 822.6 visits per second.
This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we'll accept), we're now talking about.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 25 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized LEGO set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who's invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.
Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we can't do the job with eight, or even nine.
We need 214,200 reindeer!! This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the giant luxury liner, not the person).
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.
The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they'll burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he sure would lose weight in the process!!
Happy Holidays!
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Saab 900 cabrio
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Natuke nalja vol 20Tici says (0:46):
savisaar tellis tytre boyfriendi k2est mingi r2piloo mis n2itaks reformikaid halvas valguses ja tahtis maksta 7000
ojapets siis ytles, et tema artistinimega pee-ter on ammu jube selle loo valmis teinud
et miks ta otse talle ei hellistanud selle pakkumisega
ja siis kandis ette
Tici says (0:47):
p2ris haige tekst
r2ppar Pee-terr
Tici says (0:48):
see pee-terr vs toe-t on hea
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 .. 
